uber-cute chick pummeled before she knows what's happening

Because if she knows what's happening. Having a girlfriend who likes to party can be pretty subtle after all, and misinterpreting them could lead to all sorts. When this happens, she never knows what he be doing. How am I supposed to happen when the world of The Leftovers, dogs aren't cute and cuddly; they're raucous. Things are tight and will naturally tense if you wash her front windows too.
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